I'm going to start writing again - Shock, Horror Etc.

So it's been nearly six months since I wrote my last blog.  The irony is that heaps has happened in that time, so I really have no excuse for updating it except for pure laziness.  I think my desire to write is tied in with my enrolment at university.  Maybe because while I'm at uni it seems like more fun to write blog posts and when I'm not at uni the rest of life and sleep is more exciting :P

So quick update on the last six months!

In December we went to go see Muse in concert - it was amazing.  As expected they totally rocked my socks off and the show was just way too exciting.

At the end of December my BFF's little son turned one! She had a lovely 'woodland' themed party for him and it was very sweet to see all the little ones playing together.  The cake was omg amazing (visually since I couldn't eat it :P):

And I finally got to give Cameron the quilt I'd been working on since *thinks* October.  I did a quilting class for four hours every two weeks - great fun and a really good starting point for a complete newbie to the sewing machine!

In January, where I live in Queensland was hit by the floods.  It was a pretty scary time for us because we can see the river from where we live.  But we were really, really lucky to avoid the flooding - by only about 20cm!  If the river had reached the height they were predicting, we probably wouldn't even be living at home still :(  It was really positive to see Queensland pull together and be really supportive of each other in a crisis - makes me proud to be an Aussie :D

Also in January we went on a trip to Melbourne!  I'd never been to Melbourne but always wanted to and let me tell you, I was not disappointed.  I love how eclectic it is as a city - it has something for everyone, which makes it really interesting to visit.  I couldn't live there, but it's definitely a great place to spend a week in.

View from Eureka Tower, Southbank.

I'd also made the decision two weeks before we went to Melbourne to say bye bye to all animal products.  Yes, I am now a vegan (superpowers pending).  So it seemed quite fitting to spend our time in Melbourne with our vegan friends: Phil and his gf Amy.  I have seriously never been so well fed in my entire life - the food was amazing, vegan and just.. omg amazing.  

I'll cover some of the vegan stuff in another post (as well as updating some of my blog roll!).  For now more photos of Melbourne!

Trams!  Really funky way to get around!

 R.M Williams building in the middle of Melbourne Central (shopping centre).

Oh no! It's a giant bird attacking a village! (Relax, it's just a model tudor village :P)

Dinosaurs @ the Melbourne Museum

OMG! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!

Projects on the go in 2011:

- Learning the in's and out's of veganism, nutrition, cooking and the art of a smoking hot bod.

- Writing a business plan to buy a new business mid next year!

- Going to uni and continue to be awesome

- Learning to sew clothes and look at creating some upcycled pieces (inspired by Tweal blog)

- Creating a line of party decorations and giftware

- Researching homeschooling and alternative curriculums

So this year a lot of my writing with focus on those things as I come across them and as I learn more (of course in amongst the usual day-to-day crap I do that I feel the urge to write about!).  Now off to obsessively download apps for my Iphone before taking a walk through the Toowong cemetery! xx

Crap Days

There's two reasons I'm here right now typing this blog.  One:  My university website is down so I can't keep hitting refresh on my grades waiting for my Visual Comm. grade to come up.  Two:  I had a crap day, and that usually gets me pretty chatty.  Luckily for you I'm not here to talk about how crap my day was.  I've actually found that bad days make me evaluate my life.. not in terms of how awful I think it is (although I used to be very guilty of that) but more about what I'm doing, where I'm hoping to head etc.

But first let me show you my massive bowl of salad that is now my dinner:

It's seriously as big as my head!   But salad makes me feel human and alive, when I start to feel rundown a salad is always there to pick me up.  Of course if I had never decided to try being a vegetarian I probably would have never picked up on it - the way that certain foods have an almost healing/positive effect.  I'm much more in touch with my body and really that's what this blog post is going to be about - how changes I've made have made me more in touch with different parts of myself.

I start off every year saying 'This is going to be the year of change'.. I can tell you it rarely is.  I mean sure I've always done little things, changing things I don't like, but this is the first year that I've looked at things that I've wanted to do for a long time and just started doing them.  I cut my hair all off because I wanted to (although I am growing it back now it was quite the experience in liberation), I am studying something I like, I took up being a vegetarian and a few other secret projects that I can't reveal to protect the innocent (and save my own butt).

What I've learnt the most so far though, is how much I'm becoming this person that I always wanted to be but never really saw myself being.  People that are close to me and have known me for long enough could tell you that I've changed a lot in the past two years.  It's like I've always needed to chase different focuses because I couldn't focus on myself, finally I think I've learnt how to keep most of the focus on myself.  I have gained a lot of confidence about myself and what I can do.  

Two years ago my best friend was counting down for her wedding; she was also trying to conceive their first child.  We (including her husband) were all 20 at the time,  and while they were committing to each other I was getting over a messy breakup and fumbling through a new relationship.  I didn't get where her head was at 2 years ago, because I obviously didn't believe in relationships lasting or that making plans ever got someone anywhere.  2 years later I think I have some idea of where her head was at, it's like this change of heart/mind that just hits you - and little (HA!) things like commitment, children and womanhood hits you like a ton of bricks.  Being a mum, being a wife once seemed like foreign (but eventual) concepts and now they're what everything is going towards.  I'm not saying that I expect them to happen right now, but I accept them as things that will happen for me and that I welcome wholeheartedly. 

In the meantime I'll research homeschooling (which I'd love to do!), read about what other women do with their children, cuddle Cameron (Rachel's 8-month old son), read about growing vegetables/fruits/herbs, find out how to raise chickens and ducks, learn to sew toys/clothes/blankets, collect wooden toys and books in fear that they'll for some reason stop producing them over time.  And yes I'll do my degree, even though I can never see myself in an office.. because I figure any skill is a good skill and all this stuff I am doing at university will surely come in handy in ways that I can't expect or predict.  I may even be able to do something entirely unique that will require all the great multimedia stuff I'm learning, may require creativity or writing or German hahaha.  

I guess the point I'm trying to get to is that even crap days are to be expected on this path I'm strolling along in life. And that over time they make me stronger, no matter how much I whinge or vent - there's a bigger side of me that is happy than a side of me that is sad - so I finally know that I'm winning against the negative little rain cloud.  I know everything will be great - that it already is pretty great and that I'm lucky to have so much opportunity and love in my life. :)

PS:  See how much I love that salad? :P

Epic Failure

So for the few of you who are actually following this - besides the 2 official followers (Hi by the way!) - you may have noticed that it's been about three weeks since I did my last post.  Those of you who know me, probably saw this coming.. but seriously heaps has happened since my last mind-blowing post and I will be updating soon!!

With this announcement comes the change of my byline from 'aiming for daily snaps a day' to 'aiming for weekly stories'.  Because that's really all I have at the end of a week - a bunch of random stories and happenings, but I do hope to be able to at least up date twice a week.  Also I'll be taking my day numbers off and just leaving the titles.

Okay off to have some Sunday brunch and then massive update when I get back!
xx

PS: Okay now that I've had a look it's actually been a month.. eek!

The Dumps

I am literally in them.

I actually stayed in my bed today until about 2:30pm.. until one of my friends convinced me to go the hell out somewhere.  So I did.. I drove two hours to eat Italian and drove two hours back.  Granted it was the best spinach ricotta of my life, but if I know me at all (which I kind of do sometimes) I know that exaggerating actions are almost certainly a sign that I'm not doing so great.

That and wearing heels of the beach has to be a sign of madness.

But at least it was a great view.

Peppermint Epiphany

The tea that started it all :P

Just elaborating on my facebook status here: "This is going to sound retarded.. but as I was eating my toast this morning with peppermint tea I realised that I have a personality and that I had this person in me that I'd completely forgotten over time.. Go me?".

In a nutshell without knowing me, I'm going to start by saying that the past couple of years have been difficult emotionally.  Even though I've gained many great things, like a wonderful boyfriend of nearly two years and my lovely rattikin trio,  I have to admit that I've felt really aloof with what kind of person I am (or even what kind of person I'd like to be).  I used to have a really strong identity.. I felt like I was the kind of person that could be friends with anyone and I used my social skills to the max.  Then for certain reasons I started to doubt myself.  Doubt turned into pushing away and secluding.  Eventually that doubt become massive social anxiety - the thought of doing anything with strangers, even friends was so emotionally crushing that I would be in hysterics before it and completely drained after it.  And I'd always think I'd made a fool of myself.  I think most people mistook this as being quiet, but it was more that I was afraid of everything to do with social situations.

When Justin said he was going away for 6-8 weeks, I thought I'd be stuffed.  I've left myself in this position of not having very much to do with myself and sans many friends, so the thought of being alone for that long was a really scary one.  But I really wanted to be strong.  So what did I discover this morning over a cup of peppermint tea?  I realised that I own myself.  That all along I had all these unique wants and likes, that I have things that I'm proud of - that I'm great at.  I've been so afraid of who I am this whole time that I tried to make myself about certain things that I could cling onto, that I forgot all the things that made me.. well ME.  And those things I've been clinging onto?  I don't resent them at all, in fact they've only made me feel stronger about what I've hung onto desperately to get through the rainy days.  And now - I'm just super excited :)  There's sooo much to do, I'm sure the next few weeks are absolutely going to fly. xx

Miss Un-Photogenic

If I ever entered the Miss World contest pretty sure they'd have to make up that prize title for me.  I seriously have issues featuring in photos.  Mostly because when I DO feature in them, I always always look terrible.  Here's a few of me avoiding the camera and looking terrible all at the same time :P

This is one is proudly brought to you by Coca Cola - real taste ... fake photo op.

This photo is one of the first taken in my (almost) two year relationship.. I couldn't even be photogenic in a romantic context!  (To be fair I'm pretty sure I was highly highly hungover at the time).